Shenzhen: Suspected Pooch Cleared of Staring Charges

Just remember, this section of our site is satire.

Last month, Carrie Masters, 26, US, and her small Goldendoodle dog, Goldilocks, faced every dog’s worst nightmare.

Xu Meian, 63, China, walked on the elevator as Masters and Goldilocks descended to the first floor for their usual afternoon walk.  Xu became hysterically frightened by Goldilocks’ eyes.

Xu began to hyperventilate and scream, claiming that Goldilocks’ terrible eyes wouldn’t stop looking at her. Quick thinking and not wanting to bother the woman any longer, Masters pressed a random floor number and leaped away as soon as possible. Masters walked down the stairwell and continued on her typical walk.

Xu laid back in the elevator, crumpled, waiting for another neighbor or guard to notice her state. When Xu was finally discovered, she claimed that Goldilocks had barked and bit her, pointing to wounds on her leg.

Soon the whole neighborhood was in an uproar, assuming that Masters’ dog had viciously attacked Xu. The guards called the police and ambulance as Xu began screaming for a hospital. Neighbors came around her, fanning her and bringing her piping hot cups of water.

When Masters started heading back to the neighborhood, Goldilocks sensed trouble and started dragging her paws. If only every dog in China had this magical intuition. Tired of fighting with a teddy bear, Masters picked up Goldilocks and walked into the neighborhood, head held high at winning the tug-of-war, until she was met with the hoopla that surrounded Xu.

Masters and Goldilocks were accosted and taken to a police station. An ambulance drove Xu to the hospital as she yelled, “No, they’re taking me to the kennel! I don’t want to go! I don’t want to go!”

Under interrogation, Masters revealed that Goldilocks was fully registered and that she absolutely did not bite Xu. Masters encouraged the police to check the video cameras on the elevator.

Unfortunately, the elevator videos no longer worked, and there was no proof. Xu’s family members demanded that Masters settle for ¥1,000,000 unless they take her to court and she be deported. Goldilocks most certainly faced meeting her doggy maker sooner than expected.

Thankfully for Goldilocks’ sweet curls, Masters installed a hidden body cam on the dog, which Goldilocks wore at all times, just in case these types of situations seeped up from the pit of the city’s ugliest of scam artists.

The miniature camera worked like a Google van camera, recording a 360 degree view at all times. Additionally, the camera had a 4G data connection that remotely sent the film to a database in Master’s home, where she could retrieve it if allowed.

Stunned but happy to know Xu would be vindicated of the injuries, the family members insisted that Masters immediately fetch the video. Needless to say their alpha attitudes soon changed when the video revealed Goldilocks had not even turned her head to look at Xu.

Masters contemplated charing Xu for false allegations and encouraging the public to condemn her for wasting public resources, but Xu’s family begged her to take mercy considering their unfortunate state. Xu was clearly mentally unstable and would need serious help matching the seriousness of her self-inflicted wounds.

Masters can sleep soundly knowing all is well, but even more fortune has been bestowed on her and her pooch for her cleverness. A local news station picked up on the story and ran it in Shenzhen’s evening news. Canine Porridge Company then decided a proper behaving dog like Goldilocks was the best model for their new line of dog food flavors.

 

What do you do to keep your dog safe from scammers? Comment below!

Join the group on Facebook by clicking here  or on WeChat by scanning the QR  code.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *