Apply Now! Internships for Parenthood Available at China Moms Blog

Just remember, this section of our site is satire.

If you really want your child’s college application to stand out among the hundreds of thousands of applications sent to top Ivy League institutions, we suggest a Parenthood Internship now available through China Moms Blog.

We’ll pair your budding teen with a qualified adult and accompanying flock of minis.

Not only will your young adult learn valuable life skills, such as changing diapers, doing chores for ungrateful humans, and rebounding sassy attitudes, they will view you with wonder and beg to go to college as soon as possible. If you’ve recognized issues with romantic notions about real life, this is the perfect internship for your student.

Imitating real parenthood, the internship is unpaid, and students are required to live on the host family’s couch for full exposure to life as a parent. Students can pick between completing the internship during the summer or school session, but China Moms Blog takes no responsibility for loss of grade point average.

China Moms Blog works closely with host families to create real-life chaos, such as baby puke on homework, glitter in the laundry, burnt meals, and bathroom accidents in the middle of the night.

Have a child especially googely-eyed about dating and finding “the one”? This experience will teach them the value of finding and thoroughly investigating the right partner, as all host families show their “real” side. The side that no one except the children see.

When students have successfully completed the internship, with a minimum duration of three months, they will receive a letter of recommendation as proving to be a successful adult beyond the capabilities of their peers.

Extra recognition will be awarded to students who are able to help the child learn Mandarin or English during the internships and who also potty train toddlers. At the same time, interns should be careful not to pass on bad habits, otherwise this will also be included in the letter.

All applications should be sent to chinamomsblog@gmail.com along with a passport photo file, teacher recommendation, and a criminal background check.

Join the group on Facebook by clicking here  or on WeChat by scanning below.

Photos: Anja Disseldorp (Flickr

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